Mr Badger and the Missing Ape

  Mr

  Badger

  and the

  Missing Ape

  Leigh HOBBS

  First published in 2010

  Copyright © Leigh Hobbs 2010

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065 Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218

  Email: info@allenandunwin.com

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available from the

  National Library of Australia www.librariesaustralia.nla.gov.au

  ISBN 978 1 74237 418 5

  Cover and text design by Sandra Nobes

  Set in 15 pt Cochin by Sandra Nobes

  Author photograph by Peter Gray

  This book was printed in July 2010 at McPherson’s Printing Group,

  76 Nelson St, Maryborough, Victoria 3465, Australia.

  www.mcphersonsprinting.com.au

  1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

  For Susan Johnson

  – my London companion

  Contents

  1 Busy Mr Badger

  2 An Alarming Disappearance

  3 The Big Disappointment

  4 A Big Mystery

  5 The Search

  6 The Secret Room

  7 A Clue at Last

  8 A Crack in the Floor

  9 Sir Cecil’s Secret

  10 A Race against Time

  11 A Welcome Return

  CHAPTER 1

  Busy Mr Badger

  Mr Badger wasn’t just the Special Events Manager at the Boubles Grand Hotel (pronounced Boublay). Because he had been there for so long and knew everyone, as well as just about everything about the hotel, Mr Badger had all sorts of other important responsibilities. And one of the most important was keeping an eye on Algernon.

  Algernon stood in the foyer of the hotel. For years, every morning when Mr Badger arrived at work, he would give Algernon a smile. ‘How do you do, Algernon!’ he would say as he walked past.

  Mr Badger knew better than to expect an answer, of course, as Algernon was an ape. A very big ape. And he stood in a glass case.

  Algernon had guarded the Boubles Grand Hotel foyer for years and years. Well, not really guarded; he was just there… peering out from his window on the world as if inspecting everyone who arrived at the hotel.

  And maybe he was.

  Children absolutely adored him, and whether they came to stay in the Boubles Grand Hotel or were just visiting for morning or afternoon tea, saying hello to Algernon was the first thing that every boy and girl wanted to do.

  Sometimes there was such a crowd in the foyer that Mr Badger needed to gently organise the children into a queue, so that everyone got to have their own moment or two with Algernon.

  Algernon was extremely popular.

  Unfortunately, not every child was well behaved.

  Sylvia Smothers-Carruthers would often cause trouble. Sometimes even a scene. Just because her grandparents, Sir Cecil and Lady Celia Smothers-Carruthers, owned the Boubles Grand Hotel, she would often try to push into the line.

  Or, worse still, when no one was looking, Sylvia would open the glass door of Algernon’s case and give him a kick.

  ‘I tell you, Grandma, that thing poked its tongue out at me!’ Sylvia would cry.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Lady Celia would snap. ‘It’s stuffed. I wish your grandfather would throw it out.’

  CHAPTER 2

  An Alarming

  Disappearance

  No one, guest or employee, seemed to remember a time when Algernon hadn’t been there in the foyer.

  This made Mr Badger’s discovery early one morning all the more alarming. For when he arrived at the hotel, walked up the stairs and turned to say hello to Algernon, he saw that there was no Algernon.

  Algernon was…GONE!

  Algernon was gone, but where?

  At this stage, Miss Pims did not want to ask questions.

  It was a dreadful shock. Mr Badger knew that everyone would be upset by Algernon’s disappearance. In particular the children. Algernon would have to be found as soon as possible, so Mr Badger began looking straight away.

  When his assistant, Miss Pims, arrived at work soon after, she found Mr Badger searching for clues on the floor with a magnifying glass.

  ‘Good morning, Mr Badger,’ she said, as if Mr Badger was always on the floor of the foyer peering through his magnifying glass.

  ‘Hello there, Miss Pims,’ said Mr Badger. ‘I am afraid we have a problem. A serious one. It’s Algernon – he’s gone!’

  Naturally Miss Pims was startled by the news. However, like Mr Badger, she knew better than to panic. She too leapt straight into action.

  For a start, she checked Mr Badger’s diary. Obviously he would need to be completely free of engagements that day so they could focus on finding Algernon, the missing ape.

  CHAPTER 3

  The Big Disappointment

  By mid-morning a small crowd had gathered in the foyer, and it was a very sorry sight. Disappointed children were arriving and forming a queue, pressing their faces up against Algernon’s empty case and fogging up the glass.

  Algernon was sorely missed.

  Mr Badger and Miss Pims decided that the feelings of the Boubles Grand Hotel’s little guests and visitors were of the utmost importance. So, after asking everyone to step back, they covered Algernon’s big case with a curtain and hung up a sign that said: ‘Algernon is away but will be back shortly.’

  Better that the children believe Algernon had gone on holiday, thought Mr Badger, than they be upset by the truth, which was that he’d disappeared.

  ‘That leaves us to do the worrying,’ whispered Mr Badger to Miss Pims. ‘I think we should plan our search.’

  During morning tea in the dining room, the most pressing topic of conversation amongst mothers and fathers, grandpas, grandmas and children alike was Algernon: ‘Where do you think Algernon has gone for his holiday?’ and ‘When do you think Algernon will be coming back?’ they said.

  CHAPTER 4

  A Big Mystery

  In their tiny office crammed with bookshelves and filing cabinets, piles of notes, diaries, two desks and chairs, not forgetting all the official Boubles Grand Hotel records, Mr Badger and Miss Pims got to work.

  Firstly they listed all the places in the hotel where an ape might fit, or could be hidden.

  There were endless possibilities as the Boubles Grand Hotel was big and old, with many guest rooms large and small.

  As well, there were staircases, attics, a library, cellars, storerooms, cupboards, bathrooms, four kitchens, the Boubles Grand Hotel Ballroom and two dining rooms.

  There were also offices, including the one used by Mr Badger and Miss Pims.

  ‘Well, that’s one place we don’t have to search,’ said Miss Pims, looking around. ‘We’d certainly have noticed if Algernon was hidden in here.’

  ‘Yes, well, where should we start?’ said Mr Badger, scratching his furry head. ‘I searched the foyer thoroughly this morning, before any of the guests
arrived, and didn’t find a single clue.’

  ‘How could a big ape just disappear?’ asked Miss Pims. ‘Who might have carried him away and why?’

  ‘And how could they have lifted him anyway?’ said Mr Badger. ‘How could they have moved him out of his glass case?’

  ‘So many questions and, as yet, no answers,’ sighed Miss Pims.

  It certainly was a mystery. One which was completely baffling Mr Badger. Miss Pims made two lists: one for herself and one for Mr Badger. Miss Pims was to search the main hotel rooms, and Mr Badger the more out-of-the-way places.

  CHAPTER 5

  The Search

  Miss Pims moved from room to room.

  She peered behind curtains in the Boubles Grand Hotel Ballroom, then looked for clues beneath tables and sofas in the dining room where morning tea was being served. She even asked some guests if they wouldn’t mind lifting their feet.

  Miss Pims looked everywhere.

  ‘Just housekeeping,’ said Miss Pims, with a smile, every time a guest appeared slightly alarmed as she ticked off her ‘rooms inspected’ list. Of course, she didn’t tell them what she was really looking for.

  Meanwhile, with his torch and magnifying glass, Mr Badger climbed up stairs, tapped on walls, probed in dusty storerooms, and opened long-lost doors. He was searching all the hidden, out-of-the-way places he could find.

  The Boubles Grand Hotel wasn’t just grand ballrooms and marble columns. There were lots of tiny rooms too, easily overlooked and sometimes even boarded up.

  The hotel was very large. In fact, there were many parts that Mr Badger hadn’t explored for years, parts he had not seen since he was little. At this time, he would follow his father about while he fulfilled his duties as Head Waiter at the Boubles Grand Hotel.

  There were rooms full of untouched Boubles Grand Hotel towels and tablecloths, and shelves of ancient Boubles Grand Hotel china jugs and glass vases. Mr Badger found a pantry with abandoned pots and pans from the hotel kitchens and another room full of nothing but broken clocks.

  Alas, nowhere was there any sign of … Algernon.

  CHAPTER 6

  The Secret Room

  After hours of searching, Mr Badger came across a door with a handwritten sign saying:

  ‘TOP SECRET…DO NOT ENTER.’

  Mr Badger opened the door and crept in.

  The walls were covered with framed photographs. He looked carefully, his eyes adjusting to the dim light. At first he thought he was seeing things. These were old photographs, of a very young Sir Cecil Smothers-Carruthers.

  Sometimes Mr Badger had to ignore instructions.

  In fact, they were all of Sir Cecil – well, Sir Cecil was certainly in all of them. They showed Sir Cecil on safari. Mr Badger could tell this was so, as not only was Sir Cecil wearing a pith helmet, but in one photograph he was sitting on top of an elephant, and in another he was chasing butterflies with a net. There were also quite a few of him peering through binoculars at wild animals in the distance.

  Resting on a shelf were the very same binoculars and pith helmet which appeared in the photographs. Next to them was a pair of hiking boots and a rucksack. Mr Badger was amazed, to say the least.

  However, he was about to get an even greater surprise, for on the wall opposite were yet more photographs. And these had another familiar face in them.

  Mr Badger moved up close and gasped. Looking back at him was Sir Cecil Smothers-Carruthers, but he wasn’t alone. For with him was a slightly smaller, but still instantly recognisable, and even then very big, Algernon.

  There they were, sitting in the jungle with a plate of scones and jam between them, sharing a pot of tea and a banana cake. Next to that was a photograph of them shaking hands, laughing and looking at the camera. In another, Algernon was wearing a pith helmet – Sir Cecil’s, no doubt.

  Mr Badger had always known Sir Cecil was terribly fond of Algernon, even if he was stuffed and standing in a glass case. ‘Outrageous!’ Sir Cecil would mutter whenever Lady Celia suggested a complete hotel clean-out and major redecoration, starting with the tossing out of Algernon.

  ‘What good is that old ape anyway?’ she would say. ‘That flea-bitten beast in the foyer sends a very poor message to our guests. It makes them think that they’re staying in a zoo. As well, it frightens our dear little granddaughter, Sylvia.’

  Sir Cecil would have none of it. ‘The ape stays,’ he would always say, ‘and that is that.’

  Now Mr Badger thought he understood why.

  Sir Cecil refused to budge where

  Algernon was concerned.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  A Clue at Last

  It was getting late. The dining rooms were closed and the lights had been dimmed. Visitors had left for home, while upstairs the Boubles Grand Hotel guests were tucked into their comfortable beds, undoubtedly enjoying the hotel’s speciality – the famous late-night Boubles Grand Hotel hot chocolate.

  Back downstairs in their office, however, Miss Pims and Mr Badger were meeting as planned, to discuss the progress of their search.

  ‘I looked everywhere on my list and found nothing,’ said Miss Pims, a little downcast.

  ‘I’ve not found him either,’ replied Mr Badger, choosing his words carefully. He thought it best to keep the discovery of the secret room a secret, for the time being anyway.

  Mr Badger was concerned that Sir Cecil Smothers-Carruthers would be terribly upset once he knew Algernon had disappeared. So he decided he would stay all night and continue to look for the missing ape.

  He suggested to Miss Pims that she may as well go home.

  ‘No need for us both to go without sleep,’ he said with a faint smile. Then he phoned Mrs Badger to explain the situation. Mr Badger didn’t want her worrying.

  ‘Yes, my dear, it’s a very strange thing, a mysterious disappearance which must be solved as soon as possible. I’ll see you tomorrow, and I do indeed have a clean spare uniform.’

  He put down the phone and said goodnight to Miss Pims.

  ‘And goodnight to you too, Mr Badger. I’m sure we’ll find him, so try not to worry.’

  As she left, Miss Pims called back over her shoulder, ‘By the way, I noticed the floor of Algernon’s case needs repairing.’

  CHAPTER 8

  A Crack in the

  Floor

  Mr Badger thought he may as well look at Algernon’s case straight away.

  Once in the foyer, he removed the curtain, opened the glass door and, sure enough, saw a small crack in the wooden floor. It looked easily repairable. Mr Badger was about to turn and leave when he noticed a tiny handle, in a spot usually covered by Algernon’s big left foot. Bending down, so as to inspect it closely, he saw that the handle was attached to a trapdoor.

  Carefully, Mr Badger lifted the lid and shone his torch into the darkness. Then he bravely climbed down the steps into a strange part of the Boubles Grand Hotel. Strange because it was certainly a part that he’d not known about. At the bottom of the steps, Mr Badger peered along a corridor lit by some lamps hanging from the walls. Near the steps were a few pairs of very large carpet slippers.

  As well, there were footprints on the floor. They were big footprints, too big to be human.

  Mr Badger studied them with his torch and magnifying glass. They looked like they belonged to an ape. He turned and briskly moved along the passageway, zigzagging beneath the Boubles Grand Hotel, along a path that no guests ever saw.

  His torch flashed up and down on the crumbling paint of the walls and ceiling. Suddenly the corridor came to an end in front of two large doors. There was a little light alongside them, and a button. It was the entrance to a lift.

  Mr Badger pressed the button and the doors opened.

  Inside the lift there was only one button and it said ‘Top-floor Flat’.

  CHAPTER 9

  Sir Cecil’s Secret

  The lift made strange cranking and grinding noises as it lurched its way up.

  After a
shudder and a jolt, it finally stopped, the doors opened, and Mr Badger stepped out. It was dark. Though not completely dark, for beneath a door opposite he could see a thin sliver of light.

  Mr Badger crept across to the door, held his breath and silently turned the handle.

  Gently, he pushed the door open, just a tiny bit.

  Just enough to take a peek inside.

  What he saw now was truly a big surprise. With his white gloved paw, Mr Badger stifled a gasp of amazement.

  For inside a very comfortable-looking sitting room with nice furniture and carpets, tables and lamps, sat two figures laughing and chatting, enjoying a cup of tea. In between them, on a table covered with a fresh white cloth, was a plate with scones and jam and cream, what appeared to be the remains of a big banana cake, a teapot and a snakes-and-ladders game in progress. It looked like a tea party. It was a tea party, and it appeared that it had been going on all day and all night!

  A tea party was in progress.

  There was Sir Cecil Smothers-Carruthers and, pouring the tea and about to eat a scone, was Algernon.

  They were chatting about their times together in the jungle, reminiscing about how Sir Cecil had brought Algernon back to live in the hotel and how funny it was that Algernon had had to learn to ‘stand still, very still’ in his glass box during the day. It wasn’t that difficult for him as apparently he had learnt to sleep with his eyes open when he was a baby.